"So, Mr. Albert, you've told us about your strengths but what about your weaknesses?" It's a common interview question. To which a classic humblebrag (谦虚自夸) reply is, "Well. I must admit that I'm a bit of a perfectionist." After all, what company wouldn't want to employ somebody who seeks perfection? But it turns out that there is a profound difference between high-achievers and perfectionists. In a cruel irony, the perfectionist traits could actually prevent someone from achieving their full potential.
The roots of perfectionism actually lie in a deep desire to feel perfect. Most often a perfectionist personality is formed in reaction to some form of childhood trauma. For example, following her parents' divorce, a young girl might strive to always be good, to always be perfect because at some level she believes that it must have been her fault that her parents separated. So as long as she is perfect, nothing so terrible would happen again.
Given such origins, it appears that the thinking and emotional styles associated with perfectionism are particularly dangerous to mental health. Think of the harshest and merciless perfectionists you know. They always, always, always find fault. Their cognitive (认知) styles include all-or-nothing thinking, where only perfection is seen as an acceptable result; fear of failure, where a perfectionist is driven by fear rather than pulled by the prospect of success in their endeavors; defensiveness in the face of constructive criticism. All of these seem to be linked to a wide range of psychological problems including eating disorders, anxiety and depression, and even suicide.
Changing this mindset is the key to treating the condition when it becomes a disorder but it is difficult to achieve. Perfectionists are essentially in an abusive relationship with themselves. It's hard enough to withdraw from abusive relationships with others. How much harder is it when you yourself are the abuser? So perhaps a better answer to the interview question posed at the start of this article would be, "I used to be a perfectionist but now I'm well on the road to recovery."