How do we come to make sense of our daily lives? How can we gain a strong grasp of who we really are and how we fit in the world? And how can we naturally connect to important ones in our lives? "Life stories are one of the prime tools we have for understanding ourselves and the world around us." says Robyn Fivush, a professor at Emory University.
Humans are natural storytellers. We use stories to understand our present, draw insights from our past, and anticipate the future. Thus, storytelling is basic to our lives. As a form of rich engagement between family members, family storytelling should be valued more. Sharing bedtime stories and talks after school, or walking through an event that left a young child crying—these are all opportunities for parents and children to become closer through warmth, understanding and support. Fivush and her colleagues have underscored the value of storytelling in parenting. The ways parents support children's emotions and help them retell more vivid, richly detailed stories have lasting impacts on children's cognitive(认知的)and emotional development.
Children and teenagers learn how to talk about their lives from family stories. An early example is learning how to present a detailed story with a beginning, a middle, and an end—to give it a clear structure. Further, they learn what is appropriate to talk about or avoid and what feelings are appropriate to share over dinner or out with others.
When growing up, we use our life stories to build complex and stable views of ourselves. Through stories about the traditions maintained over the years, we make connections between past successes and failures, our relationships, and the activities that hold meaning to us to develop our new identities. These identities reflect our roles as family members, community members, co-workers and so on, thus helping us have a more complete view of ourselves.
Having a lasting impact on ourselves and those around us, life stories are filled with meaning, insight, and value. By the way, what's the story that stands out to you from a recent meal or chat?