I ask every student I interview for admission to my institution, Pitzer College, the same question, "What do you look forward to the most in college?" I was surprised and delighted recently when a student called David replied. "I look forward to the possibility of failure. " Of course, this is not how most students respond to the question when sitting before the person who can make decisions about their academic future. "You see, my parents have never let me fail," he said. "When I want to take a chance on something, they remind me it's not a safe route to take. Taking a more challenging course or trying an activity I may not succeed in, they tell me, will ruin my chances to get college admission. "

I wish I could tell you this is an uncommon story. Students are usually in shock when I tell them I never expect perfection. But these days finding imperfections in a college application is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Students only tell us things they believe we will find impressive. And this is supported by a secondary school culture where teachers are under pressure to give students nothing less than an A, and counsellors are told not to report disciplinary infractions to colleges.

Admission officers are digging deeper to find out who students really are outside of their medals or test scores. We get most excited when we read an application that seems real. It's so rare to hear stories of defeat and win that when we do, we cheer. If their perspectives are of lessons learned or challenges overcome, these applicants tend to jump to the top of the heap at highly selective colleges. We believe an error in high school should not define the rest of your life, but how you respond could shape you forever.

During my weekend of interviews, another student Jefferson told me, "I'm ashamed to admit I failed calculus, but I decided to take it again and got a B-plus. I will still take calculus, even though I don't like it. " I asked him what he had learned from the experience. "I learned to let go of shame," he said. "I realized that I can't let a grade define my success. I also learned that if you want anything bad enough, you can achieve it. "

I smiled as I wrote his words down on the application-review form. Apparently, he has the coping skills he needs to adjust to college life. Failure is about growth, learning, overcoming and moving on. Let's allow young people to fail. Not only will they learn something, it might even get them into college!