"I spilled soup all over the table, but it wasn't my fault". "I got into trouble at school, but it wasn't my fault." Such statements are often heard. "It's not my fault" is actually a common response for so many people and especially teenagers. Parents complain that they're tired of the "excuses".
The reason why variations of "it's not my fault" are so popular is that they get us out of guilt, blame and anger. Those emotions may come from others' reactions or our own self-talks. In the case of adolescents, they are often trying to escape responsibility and punishment for mistakes.
Some teens would benefit from decreasing their self-blame. Those who blame themselves for things that they can't control tend to be highly self-critical and are more likely to be anxious.
Many teens overly rely on "it's not my fault". However, overuse of the phrase can result in feelings of helplessness to control their own lives. Besides, "it's not my fault" focuses a teen's attention on what is done as opposed to what needs to be done. In trying to get them to assume responsibility, many parents attempt to convince their children that something is their fault, but the approach tends to be ineffective. A more effective approach is to face up to drawbacks to find solutions to the drawbacks actively.
People may not have caused all their problems, but they have to solve them anyway. Getting stuck in sharing blame often keeps people from moving forward effectively. What does one do if he is pushed into a deep lake? One could certainly stay in water, yelling, "It's not my fault." However, that is not going to get him out of water. At some point, he needs to swim to shore, regardless of the fault.
Like most things in life, freeing ourselves from blame has its advantages and disadvantages. The question isn't what is "right", but what is most effective in moving forward.