It comes in waves. These are not calming waves, with their consisten t slapping of the shore, and seafoam coasting over the rocks and sand. These are whipping waves, ones that crush sandcastles and soak the beach in its toxic waters.
It's that feeling of embarrassment, sitting in class and tunneling down through everything you've ever done wrong before—on your anxious bench—wondering when someone will make a time machine. Maybe those thoughts consist of something embarrassing you said as a kid. Or that one time someone caught you dancing in a public bathroom. But what about the other way around? Do you look back and laugh at them and their actions? Do you even remember that or is it just a side detail in your mind?
All of these things re late to"respectable manners", disciplining your actions, and dulling happiness.It doesn't focus or highlight growth. Instead, it tears down joy allowing for self-ridicule. If you allow growth and happiness for those other people, why don't you deserve it for yourself?
Embarrassment is a lighter shade of shame—a shame formed from the perception of others and what opinions they might have. It all comes down to society:the boiling po t of expectations placed upon us. The perfection—an expectation that seems to grow with each year that passes—riddles its waters. But does it matter that much? Should we dull happiness when it's a mo ment of minor importance? Then we're left to question what we should be embarrassed about, what embarrassment is, and why it happens.
Embarrassment and happiness don't work together;they are the opposites of each other. Unfortunately,we can't choose our emotions, but we can choose how we live and how we think of others. Thinking back on embarrassing memories, how many of them are of other people? Probably few to none. It's the same way for everyone else. We are all living our own little lives. No one else can remember that embarrassing moment you dwell on every night, so why should you?