"Have you checked the oil in the car?" my father used to say to me, his version of "Hello, hope you are well." Sometimes our phone calls would begin with an inquiry about the oil and end with an inquiry about the oil, with not a lot in between.
Fathers have a lot of love to give, but it's often supplied through the medium of practical advice. The affectionate phrase "You made my life better from the moment you were born" may be rarely heard, but there is the more common "I'll hold the ladder while you get the leaves off the roof."
Why can't we fathers just say "I love you" or "It's great to see you" ? The point is: That's exactly what we are saying. You just have to translate from the language that is Fatherlish. Listen closely enough and the phrase "I love you" can be heard in the lengthier "I could come around Saturday and replace the silicon seal around the base of your toilet because I reckon that thing is getting really smelly."
When I was 17, I went on my first road trip. My father stood on the corner in the predawn of a cold morning to bid us farewell. "Highways are dangerous," he said, "so don't try overtaking anything faster than a horse and buggy. And take a break every two hours. And every time you stop for gas, you really should check the oil." At the time we thought his speech was funny and would chant "horse-and-buggy" every time I floored the accelerator.
Dad's long gone now. But after all these years, I realize that had I owned a copy of the Fatherlish-to-English dictionary, I'd have understood that the speech my friend and I so casually mocked was simply Dad's attempt at affection.